Dear Santa

Dear Santa

This year, I’ve been truly good.

In fact so good that I was thinking of GOING OVERBOARD and inviting the in-laws to stay for the whole 10 day festive period.  My father and father-in-law could compete as to who is the ultimate CHRISTMAS CONNOISSEUR.   So that when our Jew-ISH ‘hanging-on-for-dear-life’ granny shrieks at tea-time for some FESTIVE FARE, we can go about hanging our kosher stockings by the fire and eat ANGEL’S DELIGHT behind the sofa.

I do hope that this year The Sexy Italian will be visiting his family in the village so that we can wish him a BUONE FESTE… that will truly make it A SPLENDID CHRISTMAS. Come 2nd Jan, I’ll let off a siren so that, hopefully, all relatives will GO OUT WITH A BANG!

Thanks Santa.  I know it’s confusing but I really only want to eat Panzer’s deliciously luxurious food hampers this Christmas.  I might even give a few to people I like too.

Love me xxx